2004-11-25 - 11:59 p.m.

It was weigh in at Slimming World. I lost a disappointing 1lb. I say disappointing 'cause I exercise and have been very good this week. The weight should be falling off me but due to these freaky hormones it doesn't. That aside, if I were to lose 1lb a week for a year that would be around 3 and a half stone so I shouldn't complain. People at the club who don't have PCOS lose around the same amount of weight, I just have to try harder and exercise which in the long term is the more healthy way of living.

After that positive news and my complaints about my polycystic ovaries and my subsequent hormone imbalance I have to admit one other thing; years ago I used to binge and vomit. I don't do it now, haven't in over 10 years in fact but remnants of this problem stay with me and as I have been alone tonight I have taken the opportunity to binge. I'm not proud of it but something in my brain tells me that I've got a whole week until next weigh in so Thursdays are safe to go off the rails and boy did I go off the rails.

1 and half tubs of chocolate and crunchy ice cream, I pack of choc chip cookies, 2 french bread pizzas and half a bag of pretzels washed down with DIET COKE - that's the joke of it all!!!

I feel bloated yet I know that tomorrow will be an excellent exercise day so maybe I can fix the mess I've made of my evening. At least I don't make myself vomit any more. I worry about my teeth too much. I'd hate my stomach acids to rot my teeth or make them all brown and vile. I've got good, straight teeth and I don't need any extra problems.

My stomach hurts yet I know that I will keep going back until everything has been eaten. I lost my mind somewhere along the way although I know that I have more healthy days than unhealthy. I'll win in the long run I know it.

Weight on home scales: 15.13 stone (223lb)

Weight at Slimming World: 16.2 stone (226lb)

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