2005-10-06 - 10:15 p.m.

This probably won't sound very healthy but I've got to lose around 35lb before the end of the year and I've decided that the only way I'm going to do it is by bringing on my eating disorder in a different guise.

I haven't been able to binge and vomit for years because I have a phobia of my teeth going grey, rotting and dropping out. I value my teeth too much for that shit. I have decided that I am going to literally starve myself whilst exercising hard every day so that my body can't get rid of muscle before it gets rid of fat.

Sounds like a plan in my mind. I know that when the body goes into starvation mode it sheds calorie hungry muscle first SO my theory is that if I work to actually build up this muscle so's it can't be shed, my body will HAVE to burn up the fat quicker won't it?

I've decided to only eat vegetables and quorn for the time being. I just hope that I don't go mad and suddenly binge. I must click my brain over to disorder mode where I relish the feelings of hunger. In my mind this seems a great plan but will it work in practice? Only time will tell....

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